I 2 Am Hueman

Why do bad things seem to happen in greater succession than good? Why do things always seem to get harder as you seemingly grow closer to the accomplishment of your goals? Why must this happen to me? Why now? When will my time come? These are the questions that I have wrestled with all of my life. In fact, as I type this blog, I am wrestling with these questions. For some strange reason or another, I seem to feel lost more than I have ever felt “found.” In fact, if I’ve ever found anything, I seem to have found new ways to feel lost. I’ve found myself sitting in bars drinking with people who were just as lost, if not more (if that’s even possible), than me. We’ve discussed broken relationships, damaged families, politics or “politricks”, music, and my personal favorite, the meaning of life. In a completely lost state, we seem to have all come up with extremely interesting reasons for the “why” of it all. In my state of “lostness”, I have met and made some amazing friends along the way. For instance, I have a friend who’s a real badass. He is a veteran, and to this day, I have no idea what he does for his full-time job. Truthfully, I’m afraid to ask because unlike the phrase we were told years ago, knowing is sometimes the beginning of the battle. He doesn’t say, and I don’t ask. Before I get too far off of the beaten path, I want to say that he has one of the kindest hearts of anyone I’ve ever met. This guy has every reason in the world to be angry. He talks about burying some of his best friends in times of war. He talks about the normalcy of abnormality. Like me, he too lost his mother. In the midst of all of those aforementioned things, I have never heard him complain. Never. He always greets me with a smile, and as far as the drinks are concerned, let’s just say that we’ve seen the lights in the bar come on more times than I’d like to mention. I’m not an alcoholic. I just really enjoy my juice with a little something extra. While sitting in the bar, I realized something amazing. Why not me? Bad things have happened to me, and there is no denying that. However, from those bad things, I have had some extraordinary experiences. I learned that true character is demonstrated in the most difficult times. I’ve had homeless people sincerely ask me about my day with the full knowledge that they may not know where they’re sleeping at night. I’ve had genuine laughs with people at times when all I really wanted to do was cry. I’ve felt a part of something when everything seemed to be falling apart. I’ve listened to the same songs with different ears based on the interpretations of the people I’ve met. I’ve made friends. This is what I believe to be true. We are all lost, and that’s the beauty of this thing called life. The only way to be found is to understand that you’re lost. There’s beauty in being lost. While lost, you are able to recognize and appreciate things that you never intended on seeing or experiencing. While lost, you are able to recognize power and potential that you never knew you had. Had I not been lost, I would have never graduated from college. Had I not been lost, I would have never left home. Had I not been lost, I would have never allowed myself to fall, get back up, fall, get back up, and fall in love again. Had I not been lost, I would have never had so much fun. It’s okay to be lost. In fact, I say lose yourself to the potential that exists inside of you. Who knows, you might just find something beautiful…Until next time, be cool, have some fun, and more importantly, love until the world changes! Gee