I’m at the intersection of anxiety and anticipation. It seems like most of my life, for brighter days, I’ve been waiting. Every dream has somehow manifested itself as a nightmare. The love of my life called me Sampson, and when I slept she cut my hair. I left my neighborhood in search of a “better” life. While no one lived a life a crime, I only seemed to find deceit, treachery, and strife. I wanted to change the world by helping the youngest minds take shape. It’s hard to lead with love when the “leaders” are standing on your cape. I wanted to find the real me by running from the old version of who I once was. A real man isn’t what he wants to do, but what he does. I’ve done so many things that I’m not proud to mention. If life is indeed a school, I have spent an extraordinary amount of time in detention. I’m not hard or down on myself; I’m changing. Every scar, tear, and broken part of me is in the process of replacement or rearrangement. I have carried this tattooed cross on my back for far too long. I’m going to write a new verse, and I’m going to sing a new song. I’m tired of being tired, and I’m too tired to continue to wait. I’ve got an appointment with the real me, and I have no intentions on being late. The person that I hated the most was the very one that looked back at me in the mirror. I’ve learned to forgive him, and my feelings can’t get any clearer. I deserve joy, and I deserve peace. I deserve to be proud of me……..
This is how I feel this week. As always, this week do something for someone else without expecting anything in return. Also, if you get to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Patrick