As it relates to maturation and my understanding of manhood, I am two years old. For the first forty five years of my life, I based my decisions on trends rather than what was within. I had no idea who I was. In fact, if I began to have an inner conversation with my soul, I was so afraid of the unfamiliarity, I found myself drinking to drown the voice. No more. When I finally allowed myself to be okay with being myself, I became a man. I don’t know many men. It seems that so many of my brothers are acting in a play called manhood that was written by someone who has no idea what it is. The director rarely says, “cut,” and there are no commercial breaks. Well, there are commercial breaks, but those commercials only reinforce false images of what it means to be a man. Again, I am two years old. Today, I believe that the only reason I was ever born was to find love, and in turn, give the love that I contain within me away. I’m not talking about sex! I can tell where your mind was about to go! No, I’m talking about real love. I’m talking about a love that is so wonderful that it makes inconveniences seem like pathways to something greater. Love. Love is the answer to all things. I was TERRIFIED of love. The very thing that I desired the most was the very thing that I feared the most. Crazy right? It’s true. When I found myself in the presence of love, I often ran away because I would rather leave love than experience love leaving me. It was very powerful. It is very powerful. Here’s the thing, there’s no guarantee that love is going to stick around. Like a flower, love has to be exposed to sunlight, rain, good soil, and proper nutrients. As someone who didn’t understand love, I only wanted to give sunlight. That wasn’t realistic. Too much sun forced what I understood as love to wither because the light wasn’t natural. Understanding who I am as a man is the sunlight, rain, good soil, and proper nutrients. You see, I can’t expect anyone to be proud of me when I am ashamed of me. That’s how I emotionally governed myself for most of my life. I am keenly aware that my love language is affirmation. However, there is an extreme difference between affirmation and convincing. In the past I needed someone to convince me of something that I clearly didn’t believe. Today, I don’t need convincing. There is nothing wrong with me. I am human. Humans make mistakes. I have made mistakes, but I am not one of them. I have never done this, but let’s have a conversation. I don’t want you to speak. I want you to think. If you’re not where you want to be, how did you get here? If you are where you want to be, how did you get here? Do you have any idea how beautiful and wonderful you are? I get it, I know that you don’t see many wonderful things about yourself, but there are. Within you, there lives a capacity for something extraordinary. If you’re reading this blog, you have a kindred spirit with the writer. That guy should have quit years ago, but he didn’t. You should have quit years ago, but you didn’t. Do you know why? You didn’t quit because you know that there is something greater that lives inside of you. You didn’t quit because you need to know that the voices that try to convince you that you are worthless are wrong. You didn’t quit because you still believe. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. There is something very wrong with the world that we live in. Love is the answer to all things. It is the only thing that matters. You are not too overweight to be loved. You are not too skinny to be loved. You are not too dark to be loved. You are not too light to be loved. You are not too poor to be loved. You are important. In fact, if you just keep pushing someone is going to convince you that you are so important, you have given them a reason to not just live, but also create a life perfectly designed for the both of you. You are love. Can’t you hear the universe talking to you? The universe is telling you to become the you that you were meant to be. The universe is telling you that you don’t need permission to be yourself. The universe is telling you that you are worthy to both give and receive love. The universe is telling to stop making excuses and start making examples. The universe is telling you that you are the only you that will ever grace this planet. With that extraordinary gift and power, what are you going to do? Stop living your life as though it never should have been. You were born with a purpose. Find love. Find your purpose. Find your life. Find eternity. That is the only thing that matters. Patrick
This week, please do something for someone else for no other reason than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. We are all lost. However, I must admit that it’s sometimes nice to have the company of those that understand that we are all trying to find our way. Love is the only answer.