I heard your voice today. The sound poured down my ears like warm honey to cold bread. Refreshing. My phone, for the first time, felt as though it was being used because it no longer served as a device, but rather a link. My phone quickly discovered what my soul already knew; it calls to you even when language ceases to understand and reason ceases to exist. I heard you. I have been on pause since we stopped, yet I remember what play felt like. Play was my friend, stop was my enemy, eject was my fear, and record was my only refuge. Record allowed me the opportunity to know that what we felt, saw, and experienced was real. We were real. This is real. I miss you. I’m ashamed that I’m writing this, but my fingers seem to have a mind of their own. Through the clouds, rain, miles, and fears, you call to me. My pride doesn’t want to, yet my spirit answers. What I said in the beginning is what I mean now; I want you. I need you. Quietly, inadvertently, and gently, you opened the parts of me that I meant to keep closed. You shouldn’t have known those things about me. You couldn’t have known those things about me. However, it’s clear that you know. I know you know. Sadly, I think that you know that I know. Who knows? I know that I want you. I hope that you want me. If not, at least I am fortunate enough to know what longing feels like. This beautiful and powerful emotion is far greater than mere acceptance because it fits. Even if this doesn’t fit, I’ll make room. I’ve decided that I’ll discard what I no longer need, refurbish what is still beautiful, and maintain enough credit for future decisions. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You have placed an indelible mark on my spirit, and it desires you, and you alone. You are incomparable. I’ve made comparisons. There is no equal. When we are not together, I miss every part of you. I miss your scent. I miss your smile. I miss watching you walk as I envy every piece of your clothing that’s closer to you than I am at that time, and I miss you and I being us. I’m not sure if I’ve ever said this, but I miss the way you look while sleeping. Your lips are so full. As you sleep, you hold your mouth as though your breath is too sweet to be contained. You’ve never been more beautiful than you are when you awaken. I miss waking up to you. I miss falling asleep with you. I miss you. This journey that we’re on is hard, but our memories power my sail. I miss you. Patrick
I know. I know. It had to be said. Whatever the case may be, this week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no reason at all other than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us.