The Relentless Pursuit of Something.

I am a seed that fell from the broken branch of a tree that no longer exists.  I am a foreigner in a familiar place.  I’m different.  The truth of the matter is that I’m deathly afraid of being the same because I’ve found both beauty and strength in being different.  As you already know, I’ve begun to really work at expanding my company.  Needless to say, I’ve had some success.  Success.  Often times, people associate success with monetary gain.  Sure, often times, money can make current issues past problems.  However, insight into the future is something that money struggles with.  I’ll get into that in a later post.  Today, I want to let you know how I’m feeling.  First and foremost, I want to say that my podcast is going GREAT!  I’ve begun to work out my kinks, and the podcast is growing much faster than I ever thought that it would.  I’m growing.  It doesn’t matter how much I grow, until I deal with these voices in my head that continue to scream that I’m unworthy, I’ll never know what success is.  Therefore, we’re at battle.  Lately, because I’ve been willing to be someone that I’ve always truly been afraid of being, the voices have begun to whisper rather than scream.  They say it’s temporary, but I’m praying that it’s permanent.  Those voices.  They have plagued me my entire life.  A few months ago, I wrote that I’ve never questioned the strength of my wings.  It was my knees I was concerned about.  Now, for the first time in my life, my knees are strong enough to support the weight of my wings.  I’m ready to fly.  I’m ready. The truth of the matter is that I’m truly afraid because not many of the people that I know can fly.  With that being said, I don’t have an instructional manual for this journey.  Furthermore, if the people that I am familiar with could fly, because the navigational systems of their mind seem limited, they would probably fly to familiar places to brag about the beauty and strength of their wings.  Me, I’m not like that.  I want to go as far as my wings will take me.  I want to experience both the sunrise and sunset on every continent.  I want to know what joy feels like.  I want to know what love is.  I want to know what the thing that keeps me up at night and wakes me up in the morning actually is.  I want to know what I am actually capable of becoming.  You’d never know this based on my writing, but I’m actually a relatively closed person.  As a child, because no one other than my mother ever asked me about myself, I never grew comfortable talking about myself.  When I write, I’m free.  When I write, I’m sending a metaphorical message in a bottle hoping that both the finder and reader will understand.  I hope you do.  I pray you do.  I’m on a relentless pursuit of something that I can feel and imagine, yet, I’ve never seen.  I am capable of more than I am currently doing, and my imagination reaches far beyond those that I call supervisor.  Rarely can one supervise those with super vision.  I see.  Perhaps this sounds like rambling, but the truth of the matter is that my mind is faster than both my computer and my fingers.  I’m simply trying to keep up.  Thank you for supporting me.  Thank you for believing in me.  Thank you for so many messages and emails that remind me that I’m not the only one who feels this way.  Thank you for seeing past my mistakes.  Recently I began to understand that just as you are, you are more than enough.  Thank you.  Patrick

Donald Trump, I live in Baltimore.  In the city that accepted me with open arms, I see people with strength, courage, and most importantly love.  You must understand that the most beautiful flowers grow from the harshest soil.  The truth of the matter is that the soils of Baltimore are government issue.  They didn’t choose this soil or these conditions. With that being said, before you offer critique, I suggest that you look deeper.  The truth of the matter is that strong seeds can grow in any of the conditions.  Weak seeds can only grow in soil that is ideal.  The people of Baltimore are strong seeds.  They can live for an eternity in your soil.  I’m keenly aware that you couldn’t live a day in theirs.  Together, we are Baltimore Strong, and we, too, are American.  As always, this week, please do something for someone else other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better.  Also, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us.

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