For much of my life, I have measured my success, worth, and overall purpose with time. You know; by the time I’m 25, I should be married. By the time I’m 30, I should have my own house. By the time, I’m 35, I should have a child or two. Time. When I wasn’t able to make some of my time associated plans a reality, I felt, well, out of sync with time. As I have grown, I have learned. As I have learned, I have lived. As I have lived, I have developed an understanding that there is no perfect time, for there is only my time. I have spent so much time trying to stay within the confines of the perfect time that I have wasted my most valuable commodity; time. Yes, I have wasted time. Instead of enjoying the moments as they came, I sometimes lost both interest and focus because it wasn’t within my expected time. This past Thanksgiving, I had the opportunity to feel time. I felt a presence of love that I haven’t felt since the passing of my mother. I felt like a square peg that found it’s outlet. You see, like luggage that is both outdated and heavy, I carried a pain in my soul that I should have let go of years ago, for it was a waste of time. In my past, I found myself romanticizing relationships that are no more because I missed those times. However, as time passed, I quickly remembered that we broke up for a reason. Therefore, we had our time, and now isn’t it. To me, yesterday always seemed better than today because not only did I survive it, I also know everything about it. Today has a bit of mystery to it, and tomorrow isn’t promised. Again, as I have learned, I now vow upon everything Holy to never waste time again. If I miss someone, I’m not going to waste a single second pretending that I don’t. If it’s within my power to create a wonderful memory because of a potential experience, I’m not going to waste a single second with my favorite old statement, “it’s not the right time.” I have come to realize that if it’s available to me, it’s not only my time, it’s also the right time. Earlier today, I stumbled across something that I found amazing. Today, I read a quote by Jim Valvano that reads, “to me, there are three things everyone should do everyday. Number one is to laugh. Number two is think. Spend some time in thought. Number three, you should have your emotions move you to tears.” When I read that, I thought; exactly. I’ve wasted so much time on counting and explaining my tears that I’ve neglected potentially good times that could have made me forget why my tears were falling. I’ve wasted so much time on trying to keep fake love that I may have let real love slip through my fingers. I have wasted so much time on focusing on my failures that I have sometimes neglected to focus on my strengths. With that being said, this is my time. This time, I choose to laugh, think, and allow my emotions to manifest through laughter, tears, words, actions, and love. For the first time in my life, I am in sync with time because to me, the only time that matters is my time. Therefore, when my time on this planet is over, my prayer is that someone somewhere will remember something about me that made our time together magical. To you, I say don’t worry. Everything is going to be alright. If you’re struggling, you’re both learning and growing. It’s okay to question yourself. However, it’s not okay to condemn yourself to a life that you don’t want to live because it’s a floor up from your current location. Laugh, think, and allow your emotions to bring you to tears, and you will always be in sync with time. Understand that this is your time, and what’s understood does not need to be explained. Until next time, Patrick.
As always, this week, please do something for someone else other than yourself for no reason at all other than to make their lives better. Also, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love.