The Necessity of The Push.

How are you?  I hope that you’re safe, sound, and sane during this quarantine.  Ok, so, I’m going to jump right into it.  I just found out that a really, really good friend of mine is about to go through a divorce.  This friend has been married for more than twenty years, and it appears that both of them are ready to throw in the towel.  What??!!!! No!  Please don’t do that.  He seems to be stuck in the past, and she seems to be lost in the future.  Neither of them are focused on today.  If there’s anything that I have learned through this quarantine, it is this; today is truly all that we have.  At this very moment, there are some people on Earth that will experience the night moon without the expected gift of the morning sun.  Without going too far off of the beaten path, I want to explain why I don’t think they should get a divorce.  Me, I’ve experienced the horror of divorce before, and I can promise you; I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that.  No matter what anyone may say, it’s very difficult to become enemies with someone that you once treasured.  For me, it didn’t matter how many scars I collected along the way, for none of them were more painful than planning with outside sources for the demise of something that I once considered priceless; love.  It was hard because I didn’t get married to get divorced.  I got married to have a life.  However, life taught me that there is a distinct difference between life and living.  Another blog…. Divorce is not for my friend.  Under the cloak of anonymity, I can honestly say that he loves his wife.  Would you believe that he still watches her ass each time she walks to the mailbox?  After all of these years, he still remembers what she looked like in her cheerleading skirt when she was in high school.  He remembers the first time that he saw her.  He remembers the first time she said yes to a first date.  He remembers the first time she allowed him to move from first base to home plate.  He remembers when she first referred to herself as his girlfriend.  He remembers what it felt like to ask her father for her hand.  He remembers what it was like when she said yes to his proposal.  He remembers their vows.  He remembers their first home.  He remembers the birth of their children.  He remembers her helping him through the death of his mother.  She remembers him for the same.  Somehow, during the rhetoric of life, they have forgotten some things.  Damn it, can’t you see that you already possess what the rest of us are desperately looking for.  There is no Oz, and the Wizard is a liar.  You already have love.  Most importantly, you have love that is both time tested and battle approved.  You’ve already experienced the worst of it.  Hold on, because the best is yet to come.  What you have never really realized is that you two are my metaphorical map of love.  She doesn’t remember how nervous he is each holiday while hoping that he got her the right gift.  He doesn’t remember how proud she is to see that the food she cooked for him is not only good, but also special.  Neither of them seem to remember how blessed their children of color are to come home each day and see both of their parents in the same home, at the same time, without any intentions of leaving.  They have forgotten.  As a friend to both and family to one, I will say this; BOTH of you are wrong.  So what, you’re hurt.  So what, neither of you are listening.  The truth of the matter is that both of you are so busy trying to prove your point that you’re actually missing it.  There is no love without loss and no life without bruises.  Hold on.  I need you two to win.  Reconsider, reassess, and reaffirm that beautiful marriage that you have.  Heroes are considered heroes because they have survived and supported others through seemingly impossible tasks.  You two are my heroes.  Your love remained in tact in a place that was designed to kill it.  May you both see each other in the new day with new eyes and new understanding.  Love is so much more than you think.  When you truly love someone, when is it finally time to say enough is enough?  Never……….Patrick

This week, more than ever, please do something for someone other than yourself for no reason at all other than to make their lives better.  As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us.  Always Choose Love.  Always…..

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