2020.

The title really says it all. I’ve experienced more confusion, pain, and fear than I’ve faced my entire life this year. I’m required to wear masks when I go outside in order to distance myself from the same people I once wanted to be near. I’m watching people lose their homes because their jobs lost to the coronavirus. Each day, a family in America wakes up one member less. Racism seems to be more prevalent now than ever. The frustrated take to the streets, and the wealthy take to Twitter. Black Men die and White police officers make it home in time for dinner. We are scared, yet they felt threatened. There’s a shortage of everything. Initially, it was toilet paper. Now, it’s paper towels. What’s happening? This is the most important election of all time, and Kanye West wants to run for president. He’s mentally ill…I’m scared and scarred. Personally, I think that the devil knows that God is about to show off and show out. Because the devil knows that, I believe that the devil is going to do all that’s possible in order to convince us that God isn’t real. God lives… Following this harsh period of suffering exists a vacation for our hearts, minds, and spirits. I believe that this vacation is going to be so wonderful that we are going to forget what this suffering feels like. While our minds may forget, our spirits will give us reminders about why we should be thankful that we survived. This is the hardest year of my life. Perhaps, this is the very reason why this is the most important year of my life. With that being said, I say this. Baby, I miss you everyday. I’m sorry I’ve never written this, but a part of me believed that you were coming back. You didn’t. I’ve never quite adjusted to living this thing called life without you. I even miss bringing in the food. Once upon a time, I hated bringing in the food. It’s funny how life works out because now, I hate eating alone. Once upon a time, I never ate alone. I hate that we’re not together during a time that feels like the end. How are you? Are you eating? How are you sleeping? What’s on your mind? I wish I was less afraid then. My withdrawal was more of a defense mechanism than a tool of war. Even though we’re not together, I need you to know that it’s going to be alright. You are the Angel that has fallen from Heaven to grace the Earth with your presence. Even though you always kept them tucked away, I saw your wings. Thank you for helping me find mine. Thank you for allowing me to love you. Thank you for loving me way past my comfort with Love. Thank you for allowing me to hold you in the night. You know how afraid I am of the dark. I haven’t slept without the television since you’ve been gone. I’m so sorry. Sometimes, pride can take a Man’s tongue. God knows that it took mine. The memory of us is so much stronger than pride. In the end, we are now a you and I. Who am I kidding? I am Patrick and you are You. We are a thousand miles apart, yet I am still connected to the we that we were yesterday. Simply said; I miss you. Don’t worry about 2020. If I could, I’d give you a bath, make Rice Krispies treats, and watch HGTV with you. If I could, I’d put time on rewind and make a different decision just before stupid showed up. Baby, everything is going to be alright….If there’s anything that you need, I’ll never be too far away….Patrick

As always, this week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no reason at all other than to make their lives better. Also, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love….

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