My Mother died on a Saturday in February of 2008. What I remember most about that day is that the sun was shining. The night before, she asked me to bring her chicken. When I showed up the next day, she neither needed, or wanted it. On that day, my Mother began her transition to Heaven. Initially, I felt as though she left me behind. Now, I understand that she didn’t. My Mother went to Heaven because Earth had nothing more to offer her. She went to heaven because her mission on this Planet was complete. She did her job, and her job was well done. My entire young to young adult life, I depended on my Mother’s light to guide and strengthen me. When she died, I thought that her light died with her. I couldn’t have been more wrong. As it turns out, rather than control the light, throughout the course of our time together, my Mother was actually teaching me how to both handle, and control the light at the same time. Simply put, I am now in control of the light that I once believed my Mother owned. She passed it on to me. Like God, my Mother lives in the void. She is void of pain, misunderstanding, confusion, fear, and anxiety. Therefore, like God, in order for me to both feel and embrace the new version of her, I must be willing to embrace pain, misunderstanding, confusion, fear, and anxiety. As I have said before, there is nothing bad in this life, for everything is a lesson. My Mother taught me Love, so it should come as no surprise that I expect Love to meet my expectations and experiences. I miss my Mother with every fiber of my being. Even though I miss her, I’m glad that she is free. Thank you Mama. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me believe that catching the bus was actually cool. Thank you for putting powder on my mattress each time you washed the sheets. (That made me feel so special.). Thank you for frying chicken on Sundays. To this day, I have never tasted an equal. Thank you for being tough on me when you were. Had you not have been, I would have believed that I was always right. Being wrong has helped me grow and understand. Thank you for giving me life despite everyone and everything around you desperately trying to convince you that you shouldn’t. Thank you for telling me that I was special. Thank you for calling me your Chocolate Star. I believed you. Your Love effortlessly guided me through some of the darkest periods of my life. I miss you so much. Today, I am not sad, for I am thankful. I am thankful that God loved the both of us enough to allow us to share the same name, space, and time. If I never knew what a Mother was, you would be a manifestation of my dreams. You were my Friend. You were my Teacher. You were my Guide. To me, you were Love. I know that I have failed and fallen along the way. However, I can still hear you in my ear whispering that everything is going to be okay. Happy Mother’s Day Mama. I hope that each thing that I do well makes you proud. Until we meet again, I will acknowledge you in every aspect of my life. Nothing real can ever be broken, and true Love never dies. I’m still here Mama. Bless and look out for me as I continue to find my way beneath the Sun. I love you. Your Baby Boy….Patrick
As always, this week, please do something for someone else other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. Also, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love because Love Changes Everything.