Suppose.

Even though we rarely say it, there’s something pretty magical about Wednesday nights. Wednesday nights are the hump. They represent freedom from the much hated Mondays and Tuesdays and gently welcome us to Thursdays and Fridays. Wednesday nights…. Tonight, I’m up listening to Maggot Brain by Funkadelic, and I find that I’m in my feelings. What am I thinking? Oh My God, I’m whole. Oh My God… I’ve been broken for so long that I confused being broken with the ultimate renovation of the soul. Simply put, as long as I had something to fix, I had purpose. I’m now proud to say that I’m officially fixed enough to feel worthy. Oh My God, I’m whole…. I now love from a place of hope and fearlessness rather than regret and shame. I have officially cut my ties with yesterday. In fact, because it’s Wednesday, I’m going to allow myself the luxury of rambling. Here it goes. Dear Yesterday, thank you for giving me something to remember. Even though it’s clear that you will not be included in my tomorrows, the when’s that we shared were magical. Even though I thought that I would never work again, I now realize that I had to be broken in order to work. Thank you for giving me permission to examine the parts of me that were saturated in shame, examining them, restoring them, and directly giving them permission to exist as their true self. Dear Yesterday, thank you for giving me something to remember. Dear Today, wow…. Where do I begin? Today, I find myself taking risks that I would have never taken yesterday. Talk about rash decisions… Not me. Not now. Not 51.. However, do you know what? Do you want to know something? I am finding a sense of freedom in my perceived irresponsibility that I haven’t felt in quite some time. Today, you make me remember the wonders of dreams that were stolen from me by the horrors of my past. I am now skipping past my pain and only remembering what felt good. You feel good. It’s amazing how a right turn can make everything go left. I love this left. I left my need to be in control behind because I sincerely felt as though I had no control, I left the need to always be “put together” in order to feel together, I left my need to be perfect in order for everything to feel perfect, I left my fear of change behind. I’m changing.. Today, you make me feel proud to be alive. You are my friend. You are the wall that I bounce my dreams from. You are what I needed without ever knowing that I needed you. Today, I am fully present and accounted for. I love today. My only issue with today is that it won’t last forever. However, today consistently gives birth to an innumerable amount of offspring. Today calls them tomorrows. I love them even more than I love today. Today, we are infinite. I suppose it’s time for this second chance teenager to live again. Today….. Patrick

This week, please do something to help someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.

One thought on “Suppose.

  1. aprilmichelleweemsgmailcom May 12, 2022 / 10:29 am

    You deserve happiness with Today and Tomorrow! I’ll always love you, my friend! #bestblogever

    Liked by 1 person

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