Force.

Until our backs are against the walls and the walls are against our backs, we won’t completely understand force. Force is a good thing; a majestical thing. The fear of poverty forces me to awaken before my body chooses to. The fear of the pain associated with disappointing the child in me forces me to push into the darkness when fear tells me to turn back. Force… Keep going, for the other side, although unknown, must be greater than what I’ve always known. You have forced me into a corner that needed me. Perhaps, I needed the corner. However, because we are destined strangers, both of us have decided to fight. Why? Losing you means that we both lose. What good is a corner without a fighter, and more importantly, what good is a fighter without a corner? Refuge… You forced me to write this, so I’m writing. You are a force of Nature in my Life that has caused every seed in me to grow. I didn’t know that I had so many seeds. Watching them grow is scary, humbling, and painful. The fear is associated with doubt. The humbling is associated with graciousness, and the pain is associated with growth. You have forced me to write, so I’m writing. As the Queen has died, a King is born. Long live the King. You see, this King was forced to wear a crown that was always destined, yet always unacknowledged. You have forced me to acknowledge this crown. You are a force that has forced me to acknowledge that we are a force of Nature. What could possibly be stronger than you and I? What could possibly be stronger than this? When making Love, you spread your limbs as though you’re being sacrificed. Perhaps, you have decided to sacrifice yourself in order for our Love to live. Nonetheless, I both worship and feed. You are a force of Nature that has forced me to embrace a side of my own Nature that I never knew existed. The forces of Nature have led us to one another. As I breathe you in, you exhale Life into me. The forces of Nature have brought us together. Nothing can come between us……Patrick

As always, again, this week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. If you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything….

The Unsent Letter.

I knew that I had to write this letter, yet I refused to find a stamp.  Perhaps, my refusal to find a stamp indicates that this isn’t real. Perhaps, the stamp will stop the seemingly inevitable.  However, I know that’s not true.  When the life and death of a love affair intersects, there seems to be a sudden burst of energy.  There seems to be a reflection of all that once was and that which will never be again.  This seems to happen at the exact same time.  It both hurts and heals at the exact same time.  I wish it didn’t.  Was it Love or love?  To me, there’s a difference.  In any case, I’m blessed to have felt my heart move.  I pray that you feel the same.  Perhaps, that’s the magic of it all.  Perhaps, that is where the beauty exists.  By the time this letter reaches you, we will probably be a collection of pronouns and verbs used in the past tense. Ain’t Love grand??????……. Patrick

This week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better.  As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us.  Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.

Dismissals and Welcoming.

In the words of my Mother, “Hey Ya’ll.” It’s been a while. It’s been a very long week, I’m tired, and I have so much that I’ve felt, but couldn’t say. You all know this is my transparent place. Here it is. My entire Life, I’ve been afraid of being dismissed. Yet, I’ve been dismissed. However, I have learned that with every dismissal, there is also a welcoming. When I worked in an ice cream factory, my boss dismissed me. My college advisor welcomed me. When law school showed me arrogance, public school showed me Love. When Love showed me pain, chance showed me Love. You see, I’ve learned that no matter what, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Of course the past is romantic. Aren’t all things that you’ve survived and conquered? As I have been dismissed, I am also dismissing and welcoming. I dismiss pretension. I dismiss Love that is clearly a Lust that I call Love because longing is a bitch. I dismiss Friends who make me work for their Friendship when all that they have ever given me are more reasons to work. I dismiss co-workers who have convinced me that they’re working on the weekends in order to have a “leg up.” If I give my employer most of my legs, what’s going to be left for me to walk on? I dismiss the idea of a perfect Black Family because slavery was a bitch. As I have learned me, I’ve expected them to have learned themselves as well. I couldn’t have been more wrong. In the past, I resented them for their lack of growth. Perhaps, they resented me for my own growth. I’m an African American Man Surviving America. Therefore, I dismiss American poli-tricks. They hated voting for Obama. With that being the case, how can they possibly see, hear, or understand me? They don’t. I dismiss the intended idea that convincing me that I’m worthless will work. I welcome my value. I have learned that I am priceless. With that being said, the price that some have placed upon my head has no value. I’m priceless. I survived that which should have destroyed me. I survived loving those that didn’t, or couldn’t, love me. I survived my worst nightmares. I welcome that which I never expected, but waited for. I welcome affirmation. I welcome those that can, and will, love me. You see, I’ve been dismissed. Because I hate conflict and letting go of some of the things that need to be released, I welcome being dismissed. In my dismissals, I find welcoming….Patrick

As always, this week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. If you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.

The Cycle Breaker.

I was born with wings. Yet, I was told that I would never fly. I was told that I was born to do nothing more than collect that which was left, thrown, or designed for the ground. I ate, consumed, and believed. I looked at my wings and felt both shame and rage. Who would want wings that would never experience the glory and beauty of the sky? I hated my wings. I sought the approval of those that never knew the glory and beauty of the sky. I loved them. However, they made me believe that their resentment for me was actually a preparatory instruction for receipt of their love. I tried to prepare. The more I succeeded, the more I failed. The more I failed, the more I succeeded at them receiving pleasure from my failures. I lost myself in states of failure, fear, confusion, and despair. When the bird that bore me left the nest, I was left with only those who told me that I would never fly. Because the nest grew both uncomfortable and hostile, I decided that I would jump. So what if my wings didn’t work. I would feel the majesty of the wind as I fell to my demise! As I began my fall, for the first time in my life, I did something that I had never done before; I spread my wings. The very wings that I hated saved my life. For the first time in my Life, I flew. I flew above that little nest. I flew above that dying tree that the little nest was confined to. I flew above the barren soil that held that dying tree. I flew above those birds that never flew. I flew to my Destiny. I flew to my Dreams. I flew to my Love. How I Love my wings, for they saved my Life and my Spirit. I am the Cycle Breaker. I am Free……Patrick

This week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason that to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.

Wednesday Night.

It’s Wednesday. The night has come. I’m here. You’re there. This is us. Apart, yet close at the same time. Isn’t life funny like that? So much has been going on in my mind. Another mass shooting accompanied by another mass media coverage. Why haven’t they learned to not make stars out of murderers? Sadly, I guess that ratings mean more than morality. There’s that. I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole. Again, it’s Wednesday night. I’m here. You’re there. This is us. Apart, yet close at the same time. These are all of the things that I thought about writing this week. 1.) How? How do I wake up without knowing that you are beside me? How do I stand up without you there to guide me? How do I drive without you as my navigation? How do I come back to a happy home without you there waiting? How do I live without my better half? How do I grin? How do I smile? How do I laugh? How do I dream without someone to dream with, and for? How do I keep going without the urge to give the one that I love more than me more? What is Love without you, and what am I without we? I need you like the sky needs the sea. I need you like the sun needs the moon. I need you like four walls, a ceiling, and a door completing a room. With you, I’m completely complete. Without you, I am not completely me. It’s Wednesday night, and these are my thoughts…2.) January 6th Hearings. HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED? IF TRUMP WAS BLACK, HE WOULD HAVE BEEN GUILTY OF ALL CHARGES ON JANUARY 5TH! STOP IT ALREADY! 3.) Women. As Men, we are less than nothing without you. You give us purpose. Without you, we wouldn’t hunt or gather. We wouldn’t protect or defend. Each and every one of us is patiently awaiting the you that makes us feel more than Man. We are waiting for the one who can still gather the dust from our stolen dreams, pass it on to us, and help us make those dreams reality. Woman, you are our God. Perhaps this is why we feel the closest to Heaven when we are inside of you. You are our God. Woman, we worship you still. 4.) Gas Prices. NO ONE GETS IT!!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! It’s Wednesday night, I’m all over the place. I’m working. I’m writing. I’m thinking. I’m living. Ain’t Wednesday Grand???? Patrick

This week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything…

Roe v. Wade

Today, in the United States of America, the land of the “free” and home of the “brave,” Women lost their right to choose. Today, a group of mostly men decided what was best for Women based loosely on the rules of law and mostly on the arrogance, insecurities, political compunction, and personal gain that many men live by. In the end, they disguised their decision as speaking for the lives of unborn children. (As if they will ever speak to them while they live. Go figure..). Nonetheless, today, Women lost their right to choose. Somewhere I read of the freedom of religion. Yet, the religious beliefs of some were directly imposed on the “freedoms” of others. Somewhere I read about liberty and justice for all. Yet, those liberties were taken away from Women today. How is that just? I am most certain that after I post this blog, I will probably be flagged or banned somewhere because I choose to stand with a Woman’s right to choose. In the words of Malcolm X, I’d rather die on my feet than live on my needs. Let’s be honest, men make choices everyday. Some choose to lie, some choose to steal, some even are willing to turn an entire Country on its head because of the small ego probably associated with the minuscule nature of his own manhood. Some choose to kill and scream self-defense in neighborhoods they don’t even reside in, visit, or have interest in. When I say that, I am boldly, honestly, and directly speaking of Kyle Rittenhouse. To me, he was a punk ass then, and today, he is still a punk ass with a dysfunctional microphone. There’s that. Today, I cry for my Mother. She loved this Country so much that she did everything that she could in order to make disenfranchised people of Color believe that their votes mattered. She raised me to speak up alone rather than remain a part of the silent majority. Today, I cry for my Sisters. Some decided when they were young that they didn’t want to have any children because of the some of the horrific things that were done to them. Today, I cry for my Daughter. Because it takes two to tango, what if one of the two wants the dance to continue while another wants the music to stop? Today, she lost her right to change the station. Today, I cry for my Country. We are no longer the land of the “free” because today, Women lost their most fundamental and God given freedom; the right to choose. What was once a Country of free people, in my opinion, is slowly, but surely, becoming a land so misguided by politics and jargon that it is willing to feed on itself in order to temporarily feel full. What happened today is wrong. This ruling doesn’t change the fact that Women will continue to have abortions. Today, this ruling only means that our government is willing to sit back and watch them die while doing so. Pro-life huh? How about beginning to show some authentic care for the lives of people that are here to live, tell, and share their stories? To all the Women of the Divided States of America, I am sincerely sorry. Joe Biden was right; today, abortion was inadvertently put on the voting ballot. The way I see it, we have one of two choices; we can complain in private, or we can collectively and publicly restore a fundamental God given right to the Women of this Country. If we do not, we deserve what we tolerate. On behalf of all men who stand with a Woman’s right to choose, I am so sorry…. Patrick

This week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.

Mass.

Almost three weeks ago, a lone gunman went into Robb Elementary School and slaughtered 19 babies and two educators.  The cops stood outside and listened and watched.  Prior to that, a lone gunman went into Top’s Supermarket and slaughtered ten people that look just like me.  The cops gave him the privilege of surrendering.  (Based on my prior post, you know how I feel about that.). This weekend, three people died in the streets of Philadelphia.  The world watched, yet nothing seems to be happening.  In this Country, we are most certainly the world’s capital for mass shootings.  Yet, our government does nothing but talk.  One side says that we need gun reform.  The other side is saying that we need to protect our Constitutional right to own guns.  In the meantime, our people are dying. Children should never die at school.  Furthermore, parents shouldn’t have to bury their children after simply sending them to school.  Black people shouldn’t be killed while trying to buy groceries for their families.  People shouldn’t be slaughtered for simply enjoying the night life and city air.  Mass shootings.  I’ll tell you what we need in mass.  We need mass food supply in order to end mass hunger.  We need mass acceptance in order to end mass rejection.  We need mass intolerance of racism, sexism, and political bias that directly affects every inhabitant of the World.  We need mass understanding of our differences in order to begin to recognize our similarities.  We need mass gun control because clearly, the Constitutional right isn’t working.  We need affordable mass homes in order to end mass homelessness.  Being underpaid and overworked shouldn’t be a crime punishable by poverty.  We need mass love in order to end mass loneliness, depression, anxiety, and fear.  We need mass uniting of our communities in order to end mass division.  So yes, there are some things that we need in mass.  However, guns and shootings shouldn’t be one of them.  To the families of the victims of all mass shootings, I am so sorry for your loss.  Thankfully, Love is incapable of being destroyed, modified, or surrendering.  While I know that your hearts are bleeding, please know that the Love that you feel for your lost ones will remain perfectly intact for all of time.  If any of you are able to read this post, please know that I am more than a writer.  If you need to talk, I’m here.  Be well in mass…..Patrick

This week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no reason at all other than to make their lives better.  As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us.  Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.

What If?

What if the Robb Elementary School shooter decided to buy a joint instead of a gun? I imagine that the children who died would still be able to play and run. What if we all said I’m sorry when we knew that we had wronged? I imagine that some of those we lost we still be here rather than gone. What if we said we’re in need more than we said, “I’m good?” I imagine there wouldn’t be so much tension in the hood. What if we said, no, this isn’t right. I don’t like this? I imagine that we would all have better understandings of pure bliss. What if we talked about the scars on our souls that sometimes keep us isolated? I imagine that we wouldn’t waste so much time and energy focusing on the people in our past that we actually hated. What if we ended racism and treated all people the same? I imagine a world full of joy and love in which we all called one another by name. What if, good or bad, we all knew the History of our past? I imagine that our world would be a better place, as strength and love would be the only things to last. What if we had more questions than we do answers? I imagine that we would have a cure for divorce, homelessness, poverty, and cancer. What if we loved one another more than we love things that will never love us back? I imagine a world in which conversations wouldn’t have to revolve around the differences between Black and White. What if we had family time without the presence of cell phones? I imagine that we would all feel more connected and less alone. What if we said, “I love you,” and actually meant it? I imagine that we’d cherish Love because when it comes, we’d know that God actually sent it. What if “I do” actually meant more than maybe? I imagine that we would be better parents to our babies. What if we embraced getting older more than attempting to stay young? I imagine that we could reflect, smile, and be proud of the things that we have done. What if making love was more important than going to the gym? I imagine that we wouldn’t be concerned about the opinions of she, he, her, or him. What if we decided to make a change, you know, do things differently? I imagine that there would be a better you, and in turn, a better me. What if there was actually Liberty and Justice for all? I imagine that when it comes to a woman’s body, our government would actually allow that woman to make the call. What if I were never hurt, would I still be me. I know that, despite all of that, I am so blessed to exist and be, well, me and free….Patrick

I was spiritually compelled. Forgive me. As the week continues, please do something for someone other than yourself for no reason than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.

Affirmations.

The words that weren’t boldly spoken to me as a child. Because I grew up in a war zone, my Mother whispered these words to me out of both fear and respect. You are the only you that will ever grace this planet. You are so special. You are talented. You are Loved. You are worthy of Love. You are worthy to Love. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are blessed. You are strong. You are daring. You won’t always be down. When times get better, you’ll be more than ready. When times get tough, you’ll be more than ready. You are worthy of Family. You will never be forgotten. You are my Son, and I Love You… You are my Son, and I Love You. I lost myself for a while. I was lost in my own translation of all that I thought Life should be. No longer. Because I grew up in a war zone, I now believe the words that were whispered to me out of both fear and respect. I am the only me that will ever grace this planet. I am special. I am talented. I am Loved. I am worthy of Love. I am worthy to Love. I am beautiful. I am unique. I am blessed. I am strong. I am daring. I won’t always be down. When times get better, I’ll be more than ready. When times get tough, I’ll be more than ready. I am worthy of Family. I will never be forgotten. I am her Son, and I Love Her. I am her Son, and I Love Her. You are all my People, and I believe in You. You are all my People, and I believe in You. With that being said, take that leap of faith and trust that the net will appear. Even if it doesn’t, isn’t this view of the world amazing???? You Are…. Patrick

This week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything..

Savage.

Buffalo… Another city, same situation and outcome; horror, ambiguity, shame, and privilege. Ten lives were stolen while they were shopping for the things they both needed and wanted. Why? White privilege. Why white privilege? It seems that only white men have the right to take lives because they deem them either worthless or harmful. You remember the shooting in South Carolina. It seemed that murdering those innocent people caused the shooter to work up an appetite. Therefore, after he was caught, the police took him to Burger King for food. So, yes, I say white privilege. After the massacre was done, of course this young fool had the “right” to surrender to the police. Clearly, they weren’t afraid of him. Why? White privilege. Why do I say white privilege? It seems that only white men have the right to take lives they deem either worthless or harmful. The media says the courts are trying to determine whether or not this was a hate crime. Please, make that make sense. It clearly wasn’t a love crime. As I have written before, out of anger, I must write again. When it comes down to crimes being committed against my People, the law becomes gray, easily confused, and difficult to ascertain. Yet, when it comes to them, the law is both swift and clear. In fact, the law is frequently okay with the “arresting officers” playing the role of the cop, magistrate, attorney, judge, and ultimately executioner all within the same time and setting. You do remember Mike Brown, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, etc.. The list is too long to write. So, yes, I’m angry. I am sick and tired of my People being blamed for most of the problems in this Country. They call us violent, yet, we are rarely, if ever, accused of massive school shootings or crimes such as this. They call us ignorant, yet, it seems that some of the politicians in government right now either can’t read, or don’t read. What leadership? They say that we aren’t patriotic enough. How? How in the hell can we sincerely bask in the wonder of all that is patriotism when it seems that the patriots of today would prefer for my People to be buried beneath the soil that our Ancestors toiled and built? How can we be patriotic when your fear transcends our truth? How? If I am to remain silent and compliant in order to be accepted, you must as well. We should no longer teach about the civil war. We should no longer stand in awe of the plantation houses that exists throughout our Country. Honestly, we don’t find anything beautiful about them. There’s that. We should no longer talk about this “land of the free” when clearly, my People still aren’t. No. The savage within me hopes that this young man receives the justice that he is due. The Codes of Hammurabi should clearly apply in this particular case. An eye for an eye. I am angry. I have the right to be angry, so, yes, I’m angry. My People have had enough of this shit in this Country, and it is time for us to start fighting back. Let’s get up off of our knees, let’s stop singing, let’s stop marching, let’s stop carrying signs, let’s stop being compliant and complacent. Let’s be Americans… Liberty and Justice for All… Patrick

This week, please do something for someone other than yourself for no other reason than to make their lives better. As always, if you make it to where you’re going, please don’t forget to leave a map for the rest of us. Always Choose Love Because Love Changes Everything.